Biggest Fears

“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.” (Psalm 23:4 NLT)

I have a fear of abandonment. It stems from my desire to have dependable people in my life, people who will prioritize me.

I have a fear of suffering. I can handle discomfort, but mental anguish and physical pain that cannot be alleviated scare me.

I have a fear of scarcity--of not being able to take care of my basic needs of food, shelter, utilities, transportation, medicine, etc.

I have a fear of instability and uncertainty—of not knowing what’s going to happen next.

I have a fear of powerlessness--that I won’t be able to take care of my responsibilities or make decisions for myself and my loved ones.

Can I accept that if God allows abandonment, pain, suffering, scarcity, instability, and powerlessness--then that will enable me to depend on God?

My biggest fears are connected to areas in my life where I’ve learned to lean on people and resources other than God. And when these props fail, I don’t know what to do. I have a panic response.

Faith involves surrendering. It is not giving up, but giving it to God. It is a trust response.

I have to un-learn some habits--like looking for relief in coping mechanisms instead of on God. Once I clean the slate, I have to learn to trust God completely and rely on Him alone for everything. If things don’t go my way, or the way I expect, I still have to trust God’s will. This is so difficult. I shall pray that the Holy Spirit will help me change and learn the lessons of trust, dependence, and obedience.

Holy Spirit of truth, take away my old habits of depending on myself, others, and earthly resources. I know you are stripping me of all the props in my life so I can learn to rely on You alone. Teach me to trust God completely, depend on Your infinite resources, and surrender to Your will.